What to do when you feel totally lost and confused
So. You landed here because you're feeling lost and confused, and you'd like some concrete help with shifting and transforming that. Since 2006, I've helped more than a few people with that feeling of "lost and confused," helping them to shift from confused, to clarity.
Lost and Confused: Help is Here
First, when you're feeling lost and confused, do this: don’t do anything.
Not doing something when you feel lost and confused is a healthy action. Most of us go back and forth between totally hiding out from our problems at one extreme, and at the other, pushing-pushing-pushing to try to get life to be better (and that's perfectionism, which is exhausting).So first, if you're feeling lost and confused, stop and slow down.
It's going to be okay.
This becomes your mantra when the lost and confused sort of anxiety is nipping at your heels.Second, you decide that It's time to look at the hard stuff. This website isn't called "Your Courageous Life," for nothing. I want to help you look straight-on at the things that are difficult to be with, and part of that means getting real about what it is that you want to change.
That's why I offer the free Shift Plan to all Your Courageous Life subscribers (it’s in the Your Courageous Life library offered to subscribers).
Third, after you've downloaded and used the Shift Plan, I'm guessing that you'll have some ideas about what it is that you want to shift or change--and the next question will be how to create a life where you feel courageous enough, on a regular basis, to start making changes. How will cultivate courage, boldness, bravery? How will you stay on-course?
This is where creating a regular habit of courage, a courageous response to that old feeling of lost and confused instead of a fear-based response, comes in. I created the Courageous Living Program, based on the principle that you can learn courageous behaviors and make them an everyday part of your life.
Courage isn't what you are; it's what you choose to practice. You use this program daily, for 90 days, and that's how you cultivate courage, boldness, bravery--and stay focused on your deepest priorities.
Wait--Why am I feeling this way?
We grow. We change. We risk. We dare. We get afraid.Lather, rinse, repeat.That's why, sometimes, we feel lost and confused. We run up against our fear, but we aren't sure what to do, at which point we feel these distinctly uncomfortable feelings.The "Why" isn't as important as figuring out how to shift.
As you shift, as you start doing the work to create a more courageous life so that courage can become a habit, and instead of trying to figure out the "why" you start going...I'm feeling something uncomfortable. Where can I be more courageous?That's a far more helpful thing to ask. The truth is, anyone who's being really honest will tell you that they, too, feel that confusion, sometimes. I certainly do! It's a normal part of taking risks and stretching to dream bigger.
The difference with resources such as the Shift Plan is that instead of seeing tough times as barriers to the life you want, you work through them and get to the other side of them.
Lost and Confused: The Recap
You feel lost and confused.Instead of thinking something is wrong with you, you decide to pause. Slow down.You start tasking the hard questions: What do I really want? What needs to shift?You start thinking about how to cultivate courage and a bolder way of responding to life's challenges.You see that courage isn't something you're born with; its a series of choices you make, until courage becomes a habit.As life's challenges arrive, you stop asking "Why am I feeling lost and confused?" and start asking "What would I like to shift?"