I thought that everyone should know: I got married to my long-time sweetie. It seems like the kind of thing that someone who lives some of their life online, might tell people. It was a truly beautiful day full of love.

Today's the day I'm getting married to my one and only love. A dear friend gave me the following poem as a wedding gift: The True Love by David Whyte.

Despite the best of intentions, sometimes the reason that we lash out or go to our defenses is because love doesn’t actually feel like the safe option! We can intellectually know that we want to be more patient and loving, and then not choose it because we feel such discomfort. Here’s what to do when love isn’t safe.

When we’re going through something heavy and difficult and people say the “wrong” things, we have a choice. We can make them wrong for saying the wrong things and cast ourselves as isolated and alone—or, we can love. It’s possible to love yourself right through your own personal tragedy. The frame you choose for the situation will determine a lot about what comes next.