What drives you: reaction, or creation?

It’s important to know what drives you--what’s your motivating force? What gets you out of bed in the morning? Is it...chasing safety? Money and success? Being of service? Obligation? Responsibility? Bliss, joy?

What’s driving the underlying energy of that conversation, of that relationship, of that interaction--domination? Respect? Collaboration? What’s driving your career, right now? Fear? Courage? Passion?

Creation

Stopping to ask yourself about the driving forces in your life will point you to what it is that you’re creating.

We are creators, constantly creating. The life I live today is a very different one than I lead five, ten years ago. That’s been through a series of choices I’ve made, little choices that created and made up the whole.

When I was a new coach, I didn’t feel like I was creating anything--I felt incredibly reactionary. I didn’t feel like I was creating a client base; I felt like I was reacting to the clients that came (or didn’t come). I didn’t feel like I was creating a business; I felt like the world was holding back, not giving me permission to create the business that I wanted to create in the world, and that I was reacting to that. (Oh! Massive Victim energy to acknowledge in that!).

It was jarring to be in that space, because outside of the vulnerable context of trying to work for myself, I knew that I made powerful choices, not reactionary choices. As I share in the introduction of The Coaching Blueprint, the entire program has been born of the same ingredients as everything else I’ve ever created:

I have a sincere desire to help people end suffering. That’s the place that I create from.

I created The Coaching Blueprint out of a sincere desire to help other coaches, because I will never forget how those early months of trying to grow my coaching practice from “side hobby” to “business” felt. I cringe to remember those comparisons. I shudder to think of the endless days spent spinning my wheels.

With The Coaching Blueprint, I created exactly the program that I would have wished for, that would have helped me align with my center, get focused, and see movement happening. The same is even true of The Courageous Living Program--once things began falling into place in my life, I was compelled, utterly driven, put it in a format where it could be shared.

Hidden Drives

I realize only in hindsight that the times when I’ve been reactionary have been times when something other than my power was driving me.

Clinging to control. Insisting on safety. Avoiding risk. Prioritizing old stories of lack. Continuing to exist in a space of less-than, because it’s comfortable.

That’s what drives me when I’m reacting to life, instead of creating my life.We all do it, to some degree or another, in some context or another (no one’s perfect). The difference between those who are successful and those who experience less success is directly correlated with an understanding of what drives you, and how to change course when what’s driving you isn’t anywhere near where you aimed.

It’s not about becoming perfect; it’s about noticing the perfection of where you’re at, and making conscious choices within that realm.

So consider: what’s driving you, today? What do you want to be driving you, tomorrow?

Previous
Previous

The ultimate life killer: "being realistic"

Next
Next

How to make a change stick for good