What do you have, that's just for you?
What do you have that’s just for you? What’s not about betterment, not about movement, not about personal growth? What do you have just for yourself, that has no agenda attached?
What do you do in your life that has no purpose other than your simple enjoyment of it? What do you have that has no justifications?
We need these things that have no agendas or requirements or goals attached to them. It has taken me forever to realize that I needed them in order to be whole, and that without embracing the yin to my yang, I am fundamentally incomplete. We all are. Not in a “get it all perfectly balanced” kind of way, but in a way where the addition of the things that have no agenda can help us to loosen up and relax.
But This Isn’t Deep
Actually, I’m talking about fashion and home decorating.
With all of this lush navel-gazing and courageous living, looking for the opportunity to love bigger and play integrity like it’s a guitar and I’m Hendrix live at Woodstock, I’ve narrowed down my “non-work activities” accordingly:
* CrossFit (good for mind and soul; supports courageous living).
* Coffee with friends (good for mind and soul; supports courageous living).
* Reading books and visiting bookstores (good for mind and soul; supports courageous living).
and…home decor and home styling.
That last one? I have been embarrassed to claim that one. “So superficial,” I would think. “So privileged. So…something not meaningful enough.”
But here’s what I’ve come to realize: all of the work considering my actions deeply and trying to sound the clarion call of courage for others would put me so “in my head” that sometimes, I didn’t know where the fuck else to go. I needed something that was lacking in agendas, lacking in any sense of goals.
For me, that’s home decorating. Give me tea and a stack of design books. Let me wander an antique store. I will completely recharge my batteries wandering a HomeGoods, contemplating options–even if I don’t spend a penny.
It’s all so ridiculously fun for me to play with, like a grown-up version of playing dress up. Frivolous? Privileged? At a certain point I just have to shrug my shoulders. It’s frivolous and privileged to spend own a computer and spend one’s time on social media, too. We all need things in our lives that aren’t “deep” or meaningful. And, spending time playing with the things that are different than you without any agenda, can nourish your soul.
If you’re an artist, consider where you might need some time with, of all things– a book of math equations.
If you’re an accountant, roll up your sleeves and fingerpaint.
If you’re a gifted tri-athlete, start heading to church on Sundays to sing gospel.
If you’re a gospel singer, un-do a few buttons and take a pole dancing class.
The growth of everything in nature happens because room is made for complementary “opposites”–there are the times of year that provide optimal growth conditions for thriving, and the times of year when a plant dies off or is food for an animal that’s passing through while it’s on its own cycle of changing seasons.