Slow. Down. The simple approach to courageous self-care.

So, first thing that needs to be said? Like, every life coach on the planet has written the "self-care is important" post.

Forgive me, but I'll need to add another one to the internet, because if we don't regularly do something that looks like self-care, it's pretty difficult to make larger goals happen. Beyond goals, lack of self-care will erode your life, over time.

But before I lose you, I don't think that self-care has to be...soaking in a bath, shopping sprees, booking yourself on vacations. Of course, those are forms of self-care, but not everyone has access to those options.

This piece will talk about self-care through a different lens: the self-care that can come from simply slowing down.

Slowing. down. (periods inserted on purpose) is a truly divine form of self-care.

Slowing. down. when you're at work.

Slowing. down. when you're talking about a tough issue.

Slowing. down. when you're tired but you've still got a ways to go.

Self-care has to start gently--not with to-do lists of more "things to do." You've got to come from a place that is beyond to-do lists.

In the Courageous Living Program, I talk about the concept of BEing your journey, which means embracing everything that comes into the circle of your existence, rather than expending massive amounts of energy trying to control what it all looks like. From there, we gently ease into Slowing. Down.

How can you practice BEing your journey? Take time to do just one thing: Slow. Down.

So often we tell ourselves that self-care must take the form of a fancy tropical vacation, or getting away from our jobs, or buying more “stuff.” In fact, it doesn’t. We can simply choose to Slow. Down.

Also good news? If you’re thinking, “I just don’t have time for a lot of self-care practices. I need one that I can focus on,” then great—I have it.

Slow. Down.

This is the one practice that anyone could do and even if they never did anything else for self-care, their lives would benefit immensely.

Slowing down can look a lot of different ways. It can look like stopping and taking a breath on a street corner, observing the people walking by, and then being on your way. It can look like a formal meditation practice. It can look like laying on your back and watching clouds. It can look like making eye contact with everyone you meet. It can look like pausing to truly listen, when you're talking to someone about a difficult political issue.

Don’t get caught in the trap that self-care or slowing down has to be this big production. Instead, sink into just slowing...down...

Resistance

People often have enormous resistance to just Slowing Down.

When you don’t slow down and get present to what is, in this moment right here—not the past moment or the worrying about the future moments—it gets very difficult to notice those inner critic voices and do something about them. When we’re preoccupied, rushing, fretting, moving too quickly, those inner critic voices run on autopilot and can wreak havoc on our moods—which wreaks havoc on our emotional states—which then makes us less motivated to change our lives.

So make it a regular, daily practice to somehow slow down--meditation, walking slowly, and taking deep breaths are my first go-tos, but I think that taking time to just notice, listen closely, make a lot of eye contact, stare at the sky, etc., are all just as valid—and you’ll start to notice that it’s easier to “catch” those inner critic voices before they can run amuck. And if they do run amuck, going to “present” can help to calm them.

Stop right now, even. Get present to what is.

What is right in front of you?

How does the paper feel in your hands?

What is to your right? To your left?

What sounds do you hear?

What smells do you smell?

Your critic will say that taking a few moments to breathe every day is a waste of time when there are “so many other important things to do.”

In fact, taking a moment to breathe every day, to be present, is what gets things done.

These inner critic voices are going to win, and win, and win, and win until you slow down. Take a moment. Start getting more present throughout your day.

When I take even just five minutes to focus on my breath, I am much better equipped to notice the inner critic voices that come up and then start working with them.

Whatever path you choose, the instruction is simple: create space for yourself within each day to just slow down and get present to your breath or to the present moment. Start there, and watch how, with time, the rest starts to slowly take care of itself.

Optional Exercises: How will you create this exercise for yourself? What does Slowing...Down...look like for you? I believe that we can powerfully create this as a unique experience for each of us. What's your form of Slowing Down, or what form do you wish to adopt?