How to change the world
I had just read about a terrible act of terrorism. There are so many of them that sharing which one will seem almost comical to anyone who reads this post a year from now; they all sound so alike that they blend together.
This one involved children. It was the year I became a mother. And in those days, when I heard stories about atrocities committed against children, it hit me in a completely new way. I ached for those parents, and for the loss of so much human potential that was loved and nurtured. I thought of how, when my daughter was not at home, the house feels empty when her roars of delight or demands to be picked up weren’t the background hum of our life.
Even a second of thinking that I would never hear those sounds again or feel her warm little body against mine or kiss those little fingers and toes that are always in motion?–unimaginable.
* * *
It was a surprise to me on a random day of the week when I suddenly thought of, and then began crying for, those children. It was like a dam bursting forth; one moment, I had read about these children hours earlier and simply filed it away in my mind the way we do with most of the endless stream of bad news that we see in any given day, and in another moment, I was aching.
I thought of those parents grieving all the way across the world, and wished that I could hug them tight and close. I wished that there were anything I could do to stop this kind of war and madness.
I felt apologetic, more than anything. I kept thinking, “I’m sorry; I’m sorry; I’m sorry.”
This is the guilt that often accompanies privilege: to know that you have it so good when others don’t, that it’s as if you’re getting away with something. In that moment, I felt sorry for having it so good and not being able to do anything to undo someone else’s pain.
But I knew that this grief was not where I wanted to live. It’s tempting for all of us to believe that sitting in our guilt and grief over the suffering of others is a way to change it. I want something more than that.
How to Change the World
Since I can’t change actual war, actual acts of terrorism, just in the flick of a switch with my own two hands, I decided to ask myself how to change the world.
The Buddhists say that all war starts within. It’s because we abuse ourselves that we will abuse others or tolerate the fact that abuse happens; it’s because we’ll go to war within our immediate families that we will go to war with other countries; it’s because we are at war within over concepts like “who deserves” resources that we will stand idly by while people in other countries starve; it’s because we are at war within ourselves with our own sense of capability that we will tell ourselves, “I can’t effect change.”
So I asked myself, “Where am I at war, in my life?”
And swiftly, I got my answer.
In a world where calling my representatives and asking them to do something on behalf of their constituents is about as effective as putting a sticker on my butt, ending the war within ourselves becomes the one thing we can absolutely do. It’s how to change the world .
When I asked myself where I was at war in my life, I saw all of the “little places” where I was holding resentment or judgment. I saw the places where I hide out from taking action. I saw the places where I want to turn away from horror and atrocity because it’s uncomfortable and painful.
That was when I resolved to drop more of the resentment, to take more action, to stop turning away.
What if all of us—millions and millions of us—started dropping petty resentments in our lives? Or took simple, small actions? What if millions and millions of people stopped turning away?
That’s how to change the world. That’s where there’s a connection between “all war starts within” and what we tolerate within our external world.
There will always be grief in knowing that my little, individual self cannot directly and immediately stop the suffering I hear about on the news. But I’m more willing to do what I’m able to do.
Here are just two organizations you might want to learn more about—and donate to—or volunteer for—or spread awareness around: