Breathing, Meditation and Mindfulness

Go ahead, and be still. Get present to your breath.

This is how meditation classes often start. The first time I ever sat in a meditation group, I thought, “How in the hell do I do that?”

Then I spent the next twenty minutes feeling as if I'd crawl out of my skin while everyone else was so blissed out. For years I was drawn to books on meditation, but I never could quite make it gel.

So, I just started staring at walls. I'd light a candle at night, turn out the lights, sit in a chair with some chill music, and just watch the candlelight flicker and try to think. Since I was allowing myself to think, I never would have called that “meditation.” Like the perfectionistic rule follower that I was, I thought that meditation only “counted” if I was “not thinking” (since that was, in my mind, one of the rules).

Fast forward a few years and I found myself at a Zen Buddhism monastery sitting formal Soto Zen style meditation. I came to realize that in fact, I’d been practicing “meditation” for years. There isn’t a “rule” about “not thinking” in meditation; the practice is to not get carried away by the thinking.

The practice is less about “not thinking” and more about “practicing returning to the breath.” My real meditation practice started when I actually just started being still.

Perhaps you think that breathing, meditation and mindfulness are just too hard and perhaps you’re like I was and have come up with some kind of stillness practice—one that you don’t give yourself a lot of credit for because you think it doesn’t follow “the rules.”

Don't discount flickering candles, slowly walking, breathing in nature, observing closely, staring into your baby's eyes for hours, daydreaming. These are all stillness practices.

They are not formal meditation, but they can be enough to save your life when you feel like you're at your limit.

If you’re interested in breathing, meditation and mindfulness practices, I recommend Insight Timer. I’m a teacher on the app, if you’d like to try a few of my guided meditations.

Much love, and a deep bow of gassho — for wherever you are.