9 Things to Know About Becoming More Confident
Becoming more confident
Across thousands of hours of coaching, training others, and–of course–a few of my own stumbles and fumbles, I’ve learned a few things about becoming more confident, the hard way. Here are 9 things to know about becoming more confident that will shift how you think about yourself. Confidence isn't about arrogance or constant affirmation but about owning our capabilities and accomplishments without diminishing others. We'll discuss how avoiding destructive habits and labels that limit us can foster confidence, and why consistency and effort over time build true self-assurance. Join us as we uncover how facing life's challenges head-on and processing our emotions can lead to a more confident and fulfilling life.
Many people talk about wanting to feel confident, because that’s easier to say than “I feel afraid,” and the surest sign to me that someone is not going to feel confident is that they can’t just go ahead and say, “I feel afraid.”
Wanting to feel confident is something of a “booby trap.” Chasing it will, paradoxically, erode your confidence. You’ll always know when you’re chasing.
Confidence is not the same thing as arrogance or bragging or being full of yourself.
If you are worried that you are being arrogant or bragging or being full of yourself, or if someone else seems “overly confident” to you and you find that you don’t like it, check in to see if it’s truly them being arrogant or if it’s you being triggered.
Rather than thinking of confidence as “additive” where you have to add some behavior in order to feel confident, it’s helpful to realize that you can feel more confident by being reductive and removing the things that turn you away from confidence.
The reason that these things turn you away from feeling more confident is because no one ever became more confident by having the easy road.
Alex Hormozi says “You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are.” I agree with this. Notice that the quote doesn’t say you need to have a stack of undeniable proof of success.
You can experience a huge energy shift into confidence if, when things go wrong, you say “Good.”
You are not less confident because you feel your feelings.